Pregnant (Not That Kind)

Life wants to spring up in you

[post adapted from “Forty: A Beginner’s Guide to Lent” by Kristen Pool]

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The first time I had the honor of leading a memorial service was a few days after finding out that I was pregnant with my second son.

It was a striking juxtaposition - sobriety at the contemplation of my friend’s death; wonder at the miracle of new life within me. No one except me and my husband knew about the pregnancy at this point so it was a juxtaposition I had to ponder alone.

The surge of hormones made me feel bloated - like I was growing this new life with each passing moment. And yet my soul shrunk down under the weight of the collective grief at the memorial service.

Life and death; growth and relapse.

Death precedes life in the calendar year. But this is true in the spiritual life as well. Scripture paints a beautiful portrait of human beings slowly coming back to life after their fateful decision in the garden of Eden. This life is sparked by faith in Jesus and has its end in Jesus as well. We will be fully human and fully new and fully alive when we’re with Him.

The Kingdom of God came near in the first advent of Jesus. It will come even nearer as it reaches its consummation at the second advent of Jesus. For those of us awaiting this second coming, we live in a sort of perpetual winter.

Scripture tells us that this winter is about to admit defeat, giving us confidence to speak hope into the grief of winter. What will it be like to have life springing up from within us? For those of us in the in-between, we sit today in the heaviness of a memorial service even as we experience the indwelling, pregnant hope that only Jesus can supply (Rom 8:18-30).